People Get Ready There's a Train a Comin'

Don't worry everyone, all this stuff happened BEFORE Tuesday.
We've got it on good authority that, now that Obama's our pres, all this violence and stuff is a thing of the past.

1)1400 block of Saint Roch Ave. aggravated battery by shooting. The victim and an acquaintance attended a party in the area. The victim left the party and began walking north on Saint Roch Ave. The victim heard several gunshots coming from behind him. The victim ran and collapsed on the ground suffering from several gunshot wounds to his body
2)2200 block of A. P. Tureaud Ave. aggravated battery by shooting. The victims left a night club in the area and were standing in the block. As the victims were standing on the neutral ground an unknown black male approached the victims on foot and pointed an unknown type handgun at them. The subject fired the weapon several times at the victim. The victims ran and the perpetrator fled on foot. Victim #1 sustained several gunshots to his body and victim #2 sustained a single gunshot wound to his arm

Still annoyed by the distinction, "aggravated battery by shooting"? No worries! Our new president will straightened this out as well.

Also, there was this:
I don't know if you're tracking the NOPD Crime Alerts, but it turns out the Laurel Street Bakery robber was the same guy who robbed Hansen's Sno-Blitz and New York Pizza. One-man crime wave!

We would say
1)Where do you think we got the above informations?
and
2)Wasn't that guy 15 yrs-old? Is that a man?